The last few days have been all hustle, all bustle, and here I am now on Christmas Day. Last night, I gorged on international junk food…
(You HAVE to do the Tim Tam Slam!!! http://www.wikihow.com/Do-the-Tim-Tam-Slam)
And all this international junk was glorious. I sense a new tradition! I encourage you to follow in my (highly addictive and delicious) footsteps. 😉 (Don’t worry. I went running this morning – for the first time in months, but it happened)
But I’ve thought of you all today… out here in WordPress world. And I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, wherever you are, whatever junk food you are consuming. 😉 Whatever family members you have to endure. I’m over here whispering the words my sponsor told me last night… “just stay present. that’s where the magic is.” Anne Lamott told me the same thing this morning. On this the most ritualistic of all our ritual-like days… stay present and find the magic.
Love to you all and Merry Christmas. (Which I say instead of Happy Holidays not because I am religious – HA – but because I just love the word Christmas… it’s all sparkly and glittery and stuff and that’s what I’m sending to you. Sticky glitter like the ribbon I tied around my presents this year – the sticky glitter of presents and presence… may it hold you through the rest of this day. Love)
singing violent praise.
She could hear the voices above ground, from her past life, but they were fading fast. Their frantic tone sliced panic into her heart, but her pinwheeling hands found no traction in the dirt.
Only a few moments before she had been walking along the forest path, happily clambering to a destination precisely planned out. The root spoiled everything. Reaching out its gnarled hand, it grabbed her pretty foot clothed in white frilly socks and black Mary Janes, and tumbled her to the ground. Or past the ground, if you will, for here she was now head over heels, falling down a hole deeply burrowed into the earth.
She was dizzy, then nauseous, then delighted and afraid. The feelings spun through her like her body turning through this hole. She was a confusing kaleidoscope that the whole underground world was now looking through. Red diamonds, blue squares, green crystals held up to the light and turning, turning, turning.
But it was strange… because she noticed that since falling through the floor of grass and ending up underground… she could finally breathe.
I am on vacation, but wanted to write a couple of quick snippets of thought I’ve had this week:
1. I’ve realized, partially from being around my bestie and her husband, how disconnected I was in my marriage. There were definitely issues that went beyond that which caused an end to it, but my disconnection made everything worse. I feel so much more connected to life now as a result of my past year in recovery. I’m so grateful! It really is a miracle.
2. Sometimes, learning to belong is better than drifting where the wind takes you. To be elaborated on within the next couple of months.
3. I get a lot more goofy when I actually get a chance to relax!!! 🙂 Case in point: Elvis is my boyyyyfrannnn!!
4. Sugar DEFINITELY affects my mood and I need to pay more attention. Could be the source of some of my up and down depressive periods.
I hope you all are having a great week! Be sure to comment and let me know how it’s been for you. 🙂 Would love to hear from you!