Trigger Warning: Mass shootings, gun violence, graphic depictions of violence. I wrote this poem in response to the talk about the Pulse Orlando shooting being a terror attack because it was perpetrated by “possibly a Muslim”. As a shooting survivor, I have a lot of feelings about that. Do not tell me what is a … More Terror Attack or Shooting? – A Poem
This is my town. These are my people. My neighborhood. And I’m doing something like this because I believe in it. I have never been a person to just believe in something without putting action to my beliefs. This is my way to say, to myself and my community – “You are safe here. We’re here with you.” … More Doing Something With My Heartbreak
In light of both of the recent shootings here in Colorado Springs, I think it is important for the community to know how victims are impacted, and how to move forward. … More Supporting Victims in the Aftermath of COS Shootings
I’ll draw one card and then talk about how its major archetypes may be playing in your life right now. … More Tarot Tuesday
I’ve heard so many stories in the past 2 weeks. Stories that I am honored to carry, and that you can go read in the comments of my blog. I’ve had amazing conversations with people I would have called “the enemy”, had I continued to react out of pain.
At this point, that means much more to me than being right. I don’t want to be on the “right” side of this discussion. I want to truly meet people and hear their heart. … More Let’s Talk… About Gun Control
I stopped jerking myself about and simply held the reigns and watched. That is all. Simply listening. Slowly, I have detached my marionette strings. Slowly, like the Velveteen rabbit, I’m becoming real. … More The Courage to Listen
I write you this letter so that you can see the face of a survivor. I write you this letter as someone who saw with my own eyes the horror of a mass shooting, a shooting that took the lives of my twin and younger sisters and injured my father in December 2007. And most importantly I write this letter to open a dialogue about the role that gun violence has played in our country. … More Dear Congress – Sincerely, A Mass Shooting Survivor
There’s a tender consistency that comes from growing things. You have to be patient. You’re training a new way of being, you’re coaxing a seed or a plant out of its shell. … More The thing about plants
The ways in which we approach our fear has got to change.
It is so very very easy to approach fear with the mindset of wiping it off the face of the map, whether it be with drone strikes or with pointing a gun at innocent teenagers. It’s so very very easy for me to approach fear with self-policing, obsessive thinking, and trying to eradicate it from my mind. Do they seem disconnected to you? They are very related. Outer change never comes without inner change, first. … More Violence Doesn’t Solve Fear
I can focus on ceasing the constant chewing fluctuations of my mind, OR, I can focus on uniting my consciousness at my heart. … More Just Keep Following (the heartlines on your hands)
Since I’ve started offering tarot readings here on the blog, I thought I’d write about how I use tarot in my daily life. For me, tarot is a way that I supplement my current spiritual practice. My current spiritual practice includes daily meditation and yoga asana. I use both of those as a way to … More How I Use Tarot In My Spiritual Practice
As you may have noticed, I’ve been using tarot cards in these posts for a few months now. My Osho Zen deck is something that is very inspiring to me, and has given me rich material for my personal spiritual path. But from the first moment I held that deck in my hands, I knew … More An Announcement!
I don certain perspectives with ease. They’re like sunglasses in the sense that they block out certain spectrums of light. Like that one pair of sunglasses that you hate that makes everything look brown. It’s easy to see life as shit-colored. Sometimes I wear my sunglasses at night. That makes it even more difficult. I … More Growing Pains
Knowing sacred places in the shadows, I come to a new understanding of them. When I approach them in the blue January twilight, instead of the blazing June sun, I see things a little bit differently. I walked this trail in June, on June 29th to be exact. I have walked it since then. Once in fall. Now … More Twilight
I’ve written a post over at Sisterwives today that I want to share with you. It’s about how I make it through the holidays. Well… how I make it through life, really. But especially the holidays, and especially this time of year when we are approaching the solstice and the darkest time. This post is … More In the darkest time of the year…
Back in February/March, I went to Sayulita, Mexico, and found myself as I have never done before. I went alone. As such, I was required to make my own self care an absolute priority, down to what I ate. While there, I encountered regular thoughts of self-hatred, regular condemnation for the lack of yoga I … More Finding Ground
It’s been awhile since I wrote. Some of this is due to the places my mind has wandered lately, down dark and lonely roads. But some of this is also due to being out of practice. My honesty has felt terrifying even to me, so I stopped practicing writing it out publicly and went underground. … More Practice
Last weekend, I started a yoga teacher training program. A friend had told me about this program just about a month and a half ago. When she emailed me about it, I instantly KNEW. I needed to do this. I had no idea why. I had no idea where I’d get the money from. But, … More Dust to Dust
I’m posting over at The Sisterwives today, with a new spoken word piece. It’s all about dancing to the rhythm of your own truth. Read here! Just Dance
It’s been awhile since I’ve written. Most of what I’ve written lately has been sporadic pennings on a journal page, or in my poetry notebook. I’ve zipped myself shut for the silliest of reasons, but one I could not avoid. A monster in my closet with a double-fisted threat that steals all my breath and … More I’m Still Here
Last night I decided to give my new tarot deck one more round of “let’s see what it comes up with” before bed. For those of you who don’t follow my Twitter, I’ve been obsessed with tarot card reading lately. And by lately I mostly mean the last 3 days since I bought this deck … More Breakthrough
(Source) It was Vail, Colorado, somewhere around 1999-2001. The setting: a Swiss themed hotel with all German/Swiss/Austrian staff. 5 Star Restaurant. I was 10, 11, 12 years old. The years blended together along with the stories my dad told. Fantastic tales of money (1.7 Billion Dollars to be exact) that God would bestow upon my … More The Best Steak I Ever Had
I’ve spent a lifetime living by other people’s rules. I still have to detach them from my own mind and decide which ones I want to follow, and which ones I need to leave behind. When the lovely Sandy (who I am an unabashed admirer of) asked me to write a guest post, I knew what … More Writing My Own Rules
We’re not up for that. The countless times I heard that phrase as a child. It started with disinterest. It became a lack of time. It became a lack of motivation. It became a lack of energy. It was too hard to interact with the world, to interact with life, to interact with others. So … More Legacy
I’ve been absolutely outraged by Ferguson and the events there, and this is what came out tonight. I felt compelled to share it with you. Excuse my stumbling words; please know that I don’t know how to write about this. But I’m trying. I recognize my own privilege and the role that it plays in … More Wolves
I have another post coming soon, and this post will likely be a bit raw. But I felt the need to share it tonight. This evening, I’ve been thinking about the words “come with me” and “return.” I hear them not only in English but in Spanish… “Conmigo. Volvere.” These words have been bouncing around in … More Return
It is widely known among my friends that I do not, in fact, own a smartphone. Yes, I know, it’s quite the tragedy. As they have assured me many times. How do I get along without it? How do I live without a portable camera and Instagram filters? How do I know where anything is? … More Life-Hacking Skills
“It seems we struggle for a lifetime to become whole. Few of us ever do … Most of us end up going out the same way we came in — kicking and screaming. Most of us don’t have the strength — or the conviction. Most of us don’t want to face our fears.” ― Darren Aronofsky; … More Constellations
A friend of mine requested that I write about this topic, and after seeing a video that’s been circulating my social media lately, I decided it was time. When you are a shooting survivor, there are certain things that are hard to see in your feed. At least, there are for me, and I’ve heard the … More How to Respect Gun Violence Survivors on Social Media
Sometimes I feel like my body is distilled to a point in the center of me that is atom bomb explosive. It’s a point in the middle of my solar plexus that I curve around as it pulls me into its contraction. It tightens and I can’t feel my extremities. My fingers seem alien. My … More On Embodying Resilience
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.